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Dr. Gordon Freeman’s official title is Associate Scientist at the Hyponi Labs; he does everything from cleaning up a core melt-down to designing the latest version of the Deathray with Simons. However…he has a notorious habit of attempting experiments by himself, or "going postal" with C4, a 12-guage shotgun, or any nearby lab equipment small enough for him to lift and toss. Although he easily assimilates knowledge required for his various tasks, he is rather weak-minded at times, and is effortlessly possessed by The Doctor's Fish Heads, and although the FBI's interrogations usually go until the poor doctor is "finished", he simply never cracks because of his stubbornness and lack of concern with the effects a 9mm does to the head. Poor Doctor Freeman is also commonly used by the other doctors around the leabs as the resident “guinea pig”, and naturally, meeting his end in a violent manner. Nevertheless, Dr. Gordon does have a few "abilities" of his own. If he happens to pick up a pair of black sunglasses, or as he calls them simply "shades", he is instantly transformed into a muscular, killing commando with a bad mouth, during which time he expresses his innermost feelings towards his friends and foe. One of his favorite sayings is "time to kick a** and chew bubble gum…but I’m all outta gum".He has also been known to detonate himself after yelling "EXPLOSIVES!!!" or "JIHAD!!!", and miraculously still coming to work the next morning. Finally, though no official documentation of this behavior exists, Dr. Freeman has allegedly drank random test tubes he has been sent to dispose of, at which time his mental capacity quadruples and he says "No." when told to do something, or waves a hand the other doctors fly against the wall. Apart from his more "active" personality, Gordon usually assumes the position of an associate scientist, just doing what he is told by the other doctors. He almost always works with Simons, who attempts to enlighten him with his extensive knowledge of science, whenever possible.


Dr. Henrich Morris Simons (after whom the HMS Space Labs are named) is perhaps the most brilliant scientist on the West Coast. His employment with the Hyponi Labs goes all the way back to the original HMS Center in San Francisco, where he, his colleague Gordon and The Doctor originally established the Hyponi Labs' immense financial base. Simons is an elder employee at the Labs, and usually manages experiments and handles the more complicated calculations required to operate the extremely advanced equipment within the Labs. Although middle-aged, Simons is highly capable in a fight, despite the probable resolution of Gordon planting various pieces of equipment onto his skull. Simons is most well-known for his work in ION energy systems, though he also single-handedly developed the T-17 ION Accelerator Weapon, a weapon highly coveted by the government (which is one of the reasons the FBI is constantly working towards taking down the Labs). Simons also possesses significant psychic abilities, such as highly developed telekinesis (though he only seems to access these powers in times of great peril, such as when a lot of machine gun rounds are flying at him) and telepathy. And, of course there's Simons morning tea, not another form of caffeine will do besides it.


Edward Norton is the current owner and manager of the Hyponi Labs. Although equipped with a wall full of PhD's, a cup of coffee and an extreme desire for TPS Reports, Norton is considered by many of the employees at the labs to be nothing more than a walking stack of old skin. His personality is that of a piece of wood, though he has been known to express himself very "colorfully" in regards to the TPS Reports, or lack of their being turned in on time. Dr. Norton originally took over the Labs, with the help of Gordon and Simons banishing The Doctor, who previously ran the facilities. Norton is the only person who Simons takes orders from, but he does not particularly care for Simons. Norton started off in politics, and when he switched over to the high-tech industry his heartless mind soon found new ways of motivating the employees. He has a habit of sitting in a swiveling arm chair, with his feet up on the desk, very commonly resting on the TPS Reports in particular. Aside shifting through the endless stacks of TPS Reports to the pleasure of his warped mind, Norton makes sure the funds are flowing in, with the Board of Directors...


Jacks is a good-natured, take no hostages, kick-a** security guard working down in the lower labs with the doctors every day. His loyalty to Gordon and Simons is unmatched, even when the day before Gordon detonated half of the lab team away. Adrian is around most of the time to handle any haywire lab situation, with his fast-acting cleverness, physical strength, and daring sense of adventure. While this mere security guard for HMS means nothing to The Doctor, The Doctor has recognized that this guy is practically impossible to keep down. Armed with duel AC-236s, a special alloy bullet-proof vest (that resists most energy and radiation types), Jacks handles the job Walter can’t – and yes, he knows when to put a few rounds into the protocol sheets, and pop some skulls if necessary.


Walter is Chief of Security. He has a lot in common with Gordon, though he doesn't talk as much. However, he is almost never willing to make any type of breech of protocol, which often results in some of his colleagues dying in the test chamber. An active golfer, Walter spends most of his time at work doing nothing, or re-reading protocol documentation at his desk in the lobby. He manages most of the security operations around the Labs, including overseeing tours or formal guests there for business. Unfortunately, he has a slight mental block when it comes to doing anything other than the contents of his job description, whether or not it means him getting ripped apart by a pair of jaws or being annihilated by one of the other doctors.

Mrs. Sarah Freeman

Mrs. Freeman is Dr. Gordon's wife. She is a relatively high quality person, and usually cooks Gordon's dinner and at times visits the labs and keeps the Good Doctors company. Interestingly, she has never had a problem with the fact that Gordon is mentally unstable and goes on frequent rampages, and has never been ripped to shreds or detonated with C4 by him, like his less fortunate colleagues. Also, possibly because she is related to Medusa, Dr. Gordon has been known to roll over in bed at the wrong time and be converted to a block of ...stone.

Bob–From Accounting

"Bob–From Accounting", or just "Bob" is...from the Accounting Department at the labs. Although he doesn’t play a major role in the other doctors’ day-to-day activities, he does get involved when paychecks are late, or when it's time for layoff...his job then being determining what exactly everyone does all day. Perhaps its when he gets too many cups of coffee, or too few…suddenly he may be found wearing a black cloak and a light saber at his side complaining about the broken coffee machine. Later in that same day he may also be found strolling back and forth in front of a row of cafeteria workers saying "You may use any means necessary…but I want that coffee; No disintegrations!"


Dr. Dickens is one of the head technicians down in the lower labs. While Simons and Gordon usually manage experiments and new equipment, Dickens and his team have the job of managing all the existing machinery and solving minor problems. Although his job isn't especially action-packed, he makes up for this by accompanying Gordon and Simons on many of their adventures.

ION Beams

The ION Beams are the most advanced, and most powerful energy systems in the known universe. Henrich Morris Simons, with the help of his associate Gordon Freeman, originally engineered the TRAM energy system in 2011, and later discovered that a certain pattern of circuits connected to the system produced a particle beam of unimaginable power. Once they fully understood the beams, a large facility was built in Simons' back yard, which was later demolished and the Hyponi labs themselves were built on the spot. Although useful in supplying the Good Doctors' ultra high-energy experiments, the ION systems have a terrible habit of having various staff members cross into them and being instantly disintegrated. The ION beams flow down a 729-foot tunnel in the heart of the Lower Labs, and end deep within the massive ION tanks below.


Ernie is one of the greatest chefs alive, and by far the best in Edmonton. He does not work at a high-end place, but in fact a small diner that he owns called Ernie's Diner. All the Hyponi staff eat there regularly, favoring his excellent BLT (bacon lettuce and tomato) sandwiches. He is one of the only truly "neutral" characters in DC; whether it be Simons, The Doctor, Watson, or even Gordon with C4 strapped to his chest, he serves his best. However, good Ernie is not fortunate enough to avoid the evil of the Fish Heads, and knowing how popular the diner is, the Doctor sometimes dispatches his fish juice to possess the good chef and persuade him to slip a bar of TNT into a sandwich...

Little Timmy

Little Timmy, the youngest hero in Edmonton and perhaps even the bravest is deadly with a pair of safety scissors, quick on his feet, loud with his mouth, and faces Satan practically every morning for breakfast – sometimes emerging victor, or...otherwise: a red mist across the floor. Despite their denials, Little Timmy is always trying to hang with the doctors, or try out some of the lab equipment himself; of course the lab staff catches him, but not before the labs have been reduced to a crater, Simons waving his arms around, screaming.

The Runt Pack

The "Runt Pack" is a group of whipper-snappers led by Little Timmy. They join him on many adventures simply by chance (for instance when the school bus is stolen by Satan and driven on a hellion cruise through the supermarket parking lot). The group consists of:
Little Suzy – Little Timmy's "girlfriend" and faithful pal until the end. She even packs a few shrimp-muscles and can handle advanced subtraction problems.
Little Johnny – typically the one who wanders off into the blackness first, meeting the vicious beast lying in wait. Johnny doesn’t say much, besides "DAH" or "okie dokey", even with an AC-130 aimed at his face. Obsessed with being first, Little Johnny often charges out rashly after a decision, only to be cut down in crossfire. Timmy thinks he’s cool, Suzy likes him because "he's nice", Bobby calls him a retard, and Simons dismisses him as a leg-humper.
Little Bobby – Surprisingly enough, even with his habit of beating-up Timmy and stealing his lunch money, Little Bobby has managed to stay a close friend on many of Timmy’s adventures. Bobby, as you might have guessed, is pretty aggressive, and when it comes to confrontations with those who might try to hurt Little Timmy, Bobby is right there in their face to bully them away, or act as a meat-shield and give the rest of the Runt Pack time to flee.


Roberts is one of the head software engineers at the Hyponi Labs. He spends almost all of his time within the gargantuan cubicle matrices in the upper levels of the HMS building downtown. He is the foremost nerd at the labs, and is constantly working on the good CGI scripts for the labs' extremely sophisticated intranet, or questioning the technicians from within the lower labs about hardware specifications. Although he has no really amazing abilities, he frequently demonstrates quick wits and physical strength. He also spends some of his time hacking into various government organizations, as well as the labs' bank software (which is one of the reasons he has an impressive fleet of $300,000 sports cars), and like Walter, he is an avid golfer.


Jerry has rather a rather particular job at the labs: tending to the "big fish". The big fish are high-level investors on the board of directors, which Norton regularly deals with. These big fish have completely zero idea of what goes on deep within the lower labs…as with most office-level employees. Jerry’s foremost feat is bringing Norton and all them coffee, which they demand.